The Haunted Hare
28th November, 1932
The death of Mr. Thomas Parsley, which occurred on 28th Nov. at seventy-eight years, robs the Haunted Hare of one of its oldest and best-known regulars. For upwards of forty years his presence in the large wing-backed chair beside the fireplace on a Friday evening was familiar to all in the village.
Mr. Parsley was a man of remarkably regular habits. Every Friday he arrived at eight o'clock precisely, took two pints of Hollow-Eyed Bitter, and returned home to Mrs. Parsley at ten o'clock sharp. He owed his punctuality to a silver pocket watch which he claimed had been presented to him by Prince Albert Edward after a chance encounter at a railway station. Parsley maintained until his death that the clock at the Haunted Hare was three minutes slow, something Mrs. Britten, landlady, steadfastly denies.
He also carried a small pocketbook, which has been donated to the Hare, in which he recorded the precise time of noteworthy events, including, on more than one occasion, the length of time he had been kept waiting for his pint.
In his younger days, Parsley possessed a roving eye, earning him the name “Two-Time Tom” after engaging in criminal conversation with Billy Brognal’s cousin behind the curtain in the Chapel Bar. Though this nickname occasioned some displeasure to Mrs. Parsley, it nevertheless survived the incident by more than fifty years.
A memorial service will be held in the Chapel Bar on Friday. As a mark of respect, the chair beside the fire will remain vacant and the Haunted Hare clock will be stopped at eight o'clock, the hour of Parsley’s customary arrival.
Mr. Parsley is survived by his wife, Edith, two sons and a daughter, and eight grandchildren.
by Jess Stone